A Monster Memoire

I'd like to tell you a story about a young boy and how he fell in love with monsters. Full disclosure, that young boy was me!

My earliest memories of monsters are from picture books of mythological creatures. I would flip through books at the library and whenever the pages were filled with drawings of strange monsters I would make sure to take it home. Ancient men fighting terrifying and fantastic beasts always fascinated me. Needless to say, I loved movies like Clash Of The Titans and the animated Lord Of The Rings and The Hobbit.

I was kinda a loner as a kid. I had my older sister, Gina, but we didn't really get along at times, as normal siblings do. I also didn't really play with the kids in the neighborhood, because I was the youngest and nobody wanted to play with the baby. So I would turn to my own world of imagination for company. I would spend hours playing imaginary games where I'd fight invisible wars as a WWII soldier or go on Medieval quests to battle dragons. Our house in Illinois sat on a half acre of land which served as fertile ground to explore and play out my fantastic adventures.

It wasn't until first grade that I made a real friend, Ben, who was the coolest kid I ever knew. He played indoor hockey and loved monsters, too. He also had a great family that I enjoyed being around. His Mom was super nice to me, his Dad was always welcoming and his older brother was ultra cool (he wore checkered Vans shoes).

My earliest memories of Ben, or of my grade school St. Peters, for that matter, was when some older bullies stole our monster and robot erasers from us on the playground during morning recess. I don’t know the details but I remember being scared for my life that I would get punched by the bullies and more importantly, worried that we’d never get back our super cool erasers.

These guys came in a Happy Meal and almost got me killed!

The first house Ben lived in was an old white house where his family lived on the top floor while someone lived below them, but both places shared the basement. Ben and I used to play with our Masters Of the Universe figures in that house. We were obsessed with He-Man and Skeletor at the time. For Ben’s birthday, his folks took me and Ben to a toy store where we met people dress up as characters from the Masters Of The Universe. It seemed kinda weird at the time that grown ups were dressing in costume, but it was still pretty cool.

Look! Grown men humiliating themselves!

One time in the old, white house, Ben’s brother (which I can’t for the life of me remember his name) played for us a record that was like a radio play of the story of Frankenstein with creepy sounds and everything. It was really scary at the time for some reason. Then when we were totally creeped out, Ben and his brother told me they saw a ghost in the basement, and that I should go down and see for myself! They said it looked like some sort of white being or orb. It was the most terrifying peer pressure I have ever experienced. I think I walked halfway down the stairs and ran back up. Scary stuff!

Now - For the first time! I pissed my pants!

Thank goodness Ben and his family moved out of that house and into a new one. They had a much friendlier basement where Ben and his brother shared a room, which was full of monster toys and rock music posters. Ben’s brother introduced me to KISS, telling us how The Demon actually flew across the stage at their concerts. Of course, I didn't believe him, but he showed me amazing KISS album covers that made me want to believe! Years later I would finally listen to KISS and was highly disappointed that their music did not (in my mind) match the ferocious image that KISS portrayed. They looked like monsters, so why didn't they sound like monsters?

I didn't know what this was all about, but I sure liked it!

I remember being at Ben’s house for a sleepover and his mom asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I said the The Fortress of Fangs, which was a Dungeons & Dragons play set. I had a bunch of D&D toys because my Dad worked with a someone that gave him a bunch of the D&D toys and manuals (they must have had a family connection). I always wanted to play D&D, even buying the game book starter set but nobody ever wanted to play. Nowadays, kids have World Of Warcraft to go questing about, but D&D was the only option back then and it wasn't very popular where I lived in the Midwest.

Dear Santa, I want them ALL!

Nobody wanted to play this cool looking game! What gives?

I remember at one point Ben giving me a copy of Famous Monsters of Filmland magazine and it changed my life. I remember taking it home and devouring it from it page to page. For months I would keep revisiting the magazine, letting all those scary images just burn themselves into my mind. I still have that issue packed up in a box somewhere.

This smiling face is burnt into my brain.

I was so jealous of Ben’s toys 'cause he had things I’d never seen before. Ben’s father, being in the navy, would bring him back toys from Japan like Utlra-man and huge Godzillas that would shoot off body parts. Ben also had the video game system called Intelevision and a Dracula video game that was pure awesome. The game let you run around as Dracula catching people to drink their blood!

Drool.

I promise you, this used to be cool!

Then it ended. Ben and his family moved away, I guess his Dad got stationed somewhere else. I was all alone in my newly found world of rock music, horror magazines and video games.

This is a picture of Ben as Skeletor and me as Count Dracula!